Digital Downer

So my cable company has decided to do away with all the analog channels in the name of progress. Fine. Just rip my heart out along with any chance my husband had of getting laid.

You see, my cable guy was a doll and he had hooked me up with the best premium channel package there was! And I waited each week for Thursday night to roll around so I could check out my favorite Gigolos on Showtime.

gigoloI can’t help it if I secretly yearn for a few bad boys to entertain me from time to time. Continue reading

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People Porn

“Charming, Chiseled, Channing Tatum: SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!” It didn’t take me 3 seconds to pull that one off the rack and toss it in my basket at Wal-Mart last week. I’m not gonna lie, the naughty side of me was hoping there’d be a sealed section, a rated R kind of page, because I knew long before Magic Mike came along that Channing Tatum is everything I’d like wrapped around the stripper pole in my bedroom! We might as well rename People Magazine “Mommy Porn” this week. There is some inspiration inside those pages folks!

It’s a pretty big deal that I’d even buy the magazine at all, considering my disgruntled view of Cosmo has turned me into one of those people who thumbs through at the check-out, then puts it back on the rack. Totally not my fault, I was a loyal buyer until it dawned on me that these magazines are regurgitating the same things week after week, slapping a new picture between endless advertisements and calling it the latest and greatest.

I thought surely that would change when I put Cosmo on blast. I was fully expecting them to call me up and say “hey we read your blog and we’re ready for you to help us!” I would have too! I wasn’t ready to turn my back on the very pages that taught me how to give the perfect blow-job and entertain a crowd at the same time. Continue reading