Ok, so I tried to play it cool. Girls aren’t supposed to call boys. That’s what my parents said when I was 11 and I had a crush on the boy around the block. I was supposed to wait for his call, and I did, and he kissed me, so it stuck! When I give my friends advice, I always say “make him come to you.” So why was I sitting around for nearly 8 days, completely devastated, wondering what did I do?
Did his wife find out how much we still talk? Did she get mad? Did he decide he didn’t want to be my best friend any more? Did he lose his job? Did he break his phone? Did he find someone else to pour his heart out too all the time? Oh, and not to mention the worst thing I asked myself…. did he stop loving me?
Yeah, I couldn’t stop the train of questions. But, how do you ask a single one of those? I wondered, do I call him? NO! I don’t call boys. I wait. They come to me. I tried. I went days. The nagging thoughts interrupted my sleep. Why couldn’t I accept his absence?
I guess because he promised me, a long time ago, that he would never leave my life again, and somehow, I believe in that promise. So, finally, I decided to play it cool. I texted him a picture of my dog and her puppies. I got back “THANK YOU! I have been waiting for you to call me. In need of new phone, lost my contacts, pretty puppies!” So I told him, “Silly me, I thought maybe you didn’t want to hear from me, I almost didn’t text you!” And when he said “OMG, NO!” Tears flooded my face.
Of course I quickly wiped them before anyone noticed. How would I explain to my kids “Mommy is crying because she thought her boyfriend disappeared, but it was merely a technical difficulty?”
Now I can go back to my normal self. I don’t know why, but he’s the only one I can tell all the crazy things in my life to. He’s the only one who makes me feel like my every thought matters. He’s the only one that loves me through the darkness of my thoughts. So lucky me, my boyfriend’s back. Now the questions can quiet down and I go back to my mindless dreams of playing naked Twister with him on a rainy day….
Sorry, I can’t help it if I like game night!!