I think I have the winter blues. I just feel “blah”. I can’t seem to find my enthusiasm for anything. I started working on my old scrapbook, but I only finished half of it. I started cleaning out the closets, but I only did one. I went shopping for lingerie but I bought one thing and left the store. I LEFT THE STORE, and I STILL HAD MONEY!
I just feel so ‘bleh’ that I can’t even come up with a good word for it. I tried to cure myself with a long bubble bath, but all it did was make me realize that the grout is in desperate need of scrubbing. I tried getting a pedicure, but for some reason all I could was sit there and wonder if they were making fun of me in Vietnamese. I don’t know why I always think the salon girls are gossiping about the customers, but it does seem that way.
Lately I have sunk to a new low. I have been stealing my husband’s iPhone late at night. It’s not that I’m checking his text messages to see who he’s chatting up. I’m not logging into his Facebook to check out his inbox. It’s that he has RUZZLE. Yep, I said RUZZLE.
First let me just say I’m really pissed that he has an iPhone. Last summer he went through 5 phones. The first one was too smart for him. The second one he dropped in the lake. The third one he spilled Dr. Pepper on. The fourth one he ran over. And then finally he got one that he’s had for less than a year.
Meanwhile, my daughter and son both used upgrades on our account. She has an iPhone, he has a smart phone, and here I am, good ole’ mom who pays the bill, and I have an antiquated flip phone that’s so old T-Rex asked me to Fed-Ex it back in time so he could call for a pizza delivery.
Finally, there was a new upgrade available on our account. I was eying the Galaxy Note II, and had every intention of going this weekend to buy it, but what did my other half do? He stopped by a Sprint store, and used that upgrade to get himself an iPhone.
Needless to say I’m a little pissed off that I’m using a phone so old I can’t even get a new battery for it anymore and everyone in my house has been through more than their fair share. But for him to sneak out and use the upgrade, well that’s lower than low.
Then he had the nerve to get mad at me for playing with it! Now I don’t know why “Words with Friends” and “Ruzzle” give me the same cheap thrill as watching “Gigolos” on Showtime does, but if it makes me happy, why does it bother him? He actually says I need to get off the phone and pay attention to him, which would be fine if he were paying attention to me. But no, he’s watching “Moonshiners” and “Mudcats” on TV and I’m not complaining. I mean he is entertained by some rednecks who use their hands as fish bait and I’m ridiculous for joining some letters together?
So, for the past three nights I’ve sat in the bathroom til midnight playing Ruzzle on his iPhone. Of course, he could always try to revive our lost make-out sessions. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in the bathroom giggling every time the word “boner” is an option….