Lookin’ for trouble

I think I’m looking for trouble, or maybe trouble is looking for me. I used to love my cable guy. I called in more trouble tickets than anyone in town, but who could blame me? He was adorable. He’d come over, fix the cable, give my kids guitar lessons, help me with the yard work, and tackle anything not-cable-related on my to-do list with a smile on his face. I’d gladly serve him sweet tea and fix him a plate of supper. I can’t tell you how many times my hubby came home to find me all smiles while staring at this delicious 25 year old. Then one day, he got a better job, and happy as I was for him, I was never as satisfied with my cable again.

If you haven’t learned the art of flirting, you’re missing out, but click on this pic and hellogiggles.com can help you out!

Then the other day I ran into the cable guy in town. The great new job had laid off. Oh no! I told him they desperately needed him back at the cable company and he grinned. His wife shot me that look, you know the one that says “Stay AWAY from my man”! Uh-oh, maybe she found out that I am the one who kept him so late and fed him dinner on his birthday last year. Oopsie. He was playing “Sweet Home Alabama” on the guitar and we got a little carried away with the good times! I don’t know why she is so worried, I’m just a harmless flirt. There are plenty of witnesses who know I did not steal his pants. I would never leave the man who is helping me raise all these kids, unless of course Channing Tatum wanted to play Magic Mike in my bedroom. Then, I might have to reconsider….  She should be proud that her man’s booty has thrilled half the ladies in this town. We’re just eating up the eye candy, that’s all!

So my hubby called me on Saturday to say “I found your cable guy!”

“What, where? Is he back in the cable truck???” I couldn’t  help it, excitement set in! “No, he took the job at the Pawn Shop!”

I saw that job listed, and I almost applied, but I decided I can only handle the drooling in spurts. If I had to watch my Pawn Star ogle me all day, it would lose its charm. And if I was at the Pawn Shop everyday, my child would expect new Xbox games all the time! But NOW, I have my Cable Guy and my Pawn Star under one roof!

I’m not gonna lie, I was already in there first thing Monday morning. I had to see my boys in action. Ok, there’s not much action at a small town pawn shop, but there is a whole lot of talkin’! And there’s nothing like being the center of attention in a room full of men who would give their left nut to see your boobs. (One of them actually told me he’d trade his for a pic of mine!) What’s even more fun is that my husband was in there with me, and now he knows for fact that I’m not exaggerating when I say these boys love me! That should keep him on his toes for a little while.

Meanwhile, I smell trouble. Wish me luck, I’m trying to stay out of hot water, but I can’t help it, I love all these Boys, Boys, BOYS!!  Now don’t go feeling sorry for my hubby. He met a shy, sensitive girl who never even looked at another man but he was the biggest flirt in town. I once walked into a bar right in time to catch his hands in some long red curly hair. Just as he told her how beautiful she was, I bopped him on the back of the head (blame it on pregnant hormones).  He couldn’t change, so instead of crying I decided “if you can’t beat him, join him”.  I learned this game from the best player around.

Oh no, the vacuum is broken. I bet they have some down at the Pawn Shop….




5 thoughts on “Lookin’ for trouble

  1. Reminds me of that 1980s “Say NO to Drugs” commercial. “I learned it by watching YOU, dad!” Amazing the lessons our spouses don’t know they are teaching.

    • You’re so right! For so many years I let it roll of my back that he flirts with everyone but me, but now, I make sure I get my fair share of daily attention! And I would have never known how to flirt with a man had I not seen him in action time and time again!

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